The Dinner Table

The Dinner Table as a Spiritual Weapon

One of the strongest weapons you can use against the ever-increasing culture war can be found in practically every Christian home—the dinner table.

This nuclear arsenal is extremely effective and yet, sadly, under-utilized. In fact, in too many homes, Satan has convinced parents that drive thrus and grab-n-go meals are just as effective and satisfying. But these weak substitutes are not nearly as effective as having your family gather around the dinner table together.

The science is undeniable.

Families sitting around the dinner table are healthier in a multitude of ways. A 2015, journal article titled “Systematic review of the effects of family meal frequency on psychosocial outcomes in youth” revealed that “results show that frequent family meals are inversely associated with disordered eating, alcohol and substance use, violent behavior, and feelings of depression or thoughts of suicide in adolescents. There is a positive relationship between frequent family meals and increased self-esteem and school success.” (in the Journal of Canadian Family Physician, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4325878/).

Have children that are struggling with depression? Turn off the devices and gather around the table—even if they don’t want to. (That’s part of parenting!)

A 2022, survey by the American Health Association found that 91% of parents reported that their families were significantly less stressed when their families eat meals together regularly. Researchers at Stanford Medicine and Stanford University demonstrated eating together also improves a child’s self-esteem.

By encouraging your children to talk about their day (and genuinely listening to their responses), you’re communicating that you value and respect who they are. You learn about their priorities and what is truly important to them—which may give you indications of areas you need to tweak or help them to refocus on.

A 2006 study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health demonstrated that there is a clear relationship between how many meals families eat together versus how much high-risk behavior children get involved in. They concluded: “The findings of the present study suggest that the frequency of family dinner is an external developmental asset or protective factor that may curtail high-risk behaviors among youth.” In other words, if you want your children to not use drugs, alcohol, steal, etc. then sit around the dinner table with them and share your values and God’s wisdom!

Neurologically, I know sharing meals together contributes to the production of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone released by the pituitary gland and is commonly referred to as “the love hormone” or the “cuddle hormone.” This hormone, when secreted, increases feelings of love and closeness between humans.

This means when families gather around the table together it causes a physiological response that draws people to one another. Want your family to be closer together? Try sitting around the table at night.

My wife and I would whole heartedly agree with all these studies. Looking back at what truly helped bring our family closer together—and closer to God—it was gathering together as a family around the dinner table. This was one of the areas that my wife was adamant about as the children were growing up. She wanted us eating together around a table as often as possible. (Admittedly, there were nights we just physically couldn’t make it happen—but we always knew what the goal was and worked hard to be sitting around it later in the week.)

It was around that table that we talked about our day, we shared our hopes, dreams, and goals, we discussed some of the deeper issues of life, we laughed, and even occasionally shed tears together.

So, science has proven that families that gather around the table together are healthier. But take a moment to reflect and consider how many times the Bible talks about people gathering around the table:

*Where did Jesus want to go with Zacchaeus? (Luke 19:1-10)

*Have you ever studied where Jesus did much of His work? It was around people’s tables (see for instance Luke 7:36; Luke 11:37; Mark 14:3; John 12:2).

*Where did Jesus want to spend the last cherished moments with His disciples? (Matthew 26) This is huge! He could have taken them to a beach or the mountains. But instead, He timed His last days with Passover and had them gathered around a table with Him.

*When Jesus healed Peter’s mother-in-law the text indicates she arose and served them (Matthew 8:15). Once again, you get this intimate image of Him with people gathered around a table.

*The first century church literally got started around dining room tables: “So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart,” (Acts 2:46).

*And consider how many times Jesus’ parables and teachings were focused around a table or wedding feast.

The psalmist paints a beautiful picture of a family, and mentions specifically having your children gathered around the table in Psalm 128:1-4

Blessed is every one who fears the Lord,

Who walks in His ways.

When you eat the labor of your hands,

You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.

Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine

In the very heart of your house,

Your children like olive plants

All around your table.

Behold, thus shall the man be blessed

Who fears the Lord.

Looking back, if I could give a piece of wisdom to every young family in the church it would be this: Cut out some of the activities in your life and gather your family around the table. Make it a habit. Eat meals together. Talk to your children and share your thoughts around that table. Use that dinner table as a teaching ground to fight some of the mess going on in our culture today. Let it become a place of wisdom, learning and healing for your family. Invite your Christian friends to sit around the table with you. Play games at the table. Just make sure you get around that table as a family! We cannot stress this enough…truly!

Our dinner table was given to us from my sweet in-laws many years ago. It was made by an Amish family in Lancaster, PA and is extremely sturdy. But after 15+ years and four children it is now showing some age. The finish is starting to come off in places, and it has a “distressed” look that we did not pay extra for. I’ve considered having it refinished, and likely will do that one day…but those little dings and scratches hold a special place in my heart these days.

As my children continue to grow up and “leave the nest” those little scuffs are a reminder every morning of all the love and laughter we have shared at that table. To all those Christian families with young children, I pray you find yourself drinking your coffee in twenty years, sitting at a table with lots of marks and scratches. For it’s those dings and dents that are just one tale-tell sign that your children have been prepared for battle!

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Sound Doctrine According to Godliness

We Must Preach Sound Doctrine According to Godliness

One of Satan’s great tricks is to get men to despise doctrine. Many erroneously think that doctrine implies some kind of sanctimony or mere show of devotion. The truth is just the opposite. Those who observe doctrine are the ones who are sincere and faithful. The English word doctrine comes from the Latin word doctrina, which means “teaching.” The Greek word didaskalia means teaching, instruction, or training. Christianity is a religion of doctrine, and the doctrine must be observed. This is why one of the first things mentioned about the behavior of new Christians is: “And they continued stedfastly in the apostles’ teaching (doctrine) and fellowship, in the breaking of bread and the prayers” (Acts 2:42).Teach the Doctrine

Preaching with little to no doctrinal content is not preaching, but pandering to the whims of fickle humans who enjoy a good story more than they do the truth of the gospel. Consider Paul’s description of those who do not consent to doctrine: “If any man teacheth a different doctrine, and consenteth not to sound words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness; he is puffed up, knowing nothing, but doting about questionings and disputes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings, wranglings of men corrupted in mind and bereft of the truth, supposing that godliness is a way of gain” (1 Timothy 6:3-5).

To forsake doctrine is to be proud and to know nothing. Those who do so give rise to envy, strife, and wranglings. In other words, they create divisions. These, says Paul, are corrupt in mind and empty of the truth. Do not let the preacher, or anyone for that matter, withhold the doctrine that is according to godliness. Remind him that his job is to uphold the sound doctrine of Jesus Christ.

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It is Not a Ritual

It Is Not a Ritual, It Is a Path to Holiness

Because it happens every week, it is easy for the partaking of the Lord’s Supper to become somewhat of a religious ritual and we fail to understand the part it plays in our spiritual growth. The abuse of this feast in Corinth brought dire consequences. “For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep” (1 Cor. 11:30). If one does not remember Jesus and discern His body as he partakes of the bread and cup, he eats and drinks damnation to his soul.

In the New Testament we remember Him, but in the Old Testament they remembered their deliverance from Egyptian bondage. From the time the Sabbath was given until the close of the Old Testament, there was not a weekly assembly, but a time when the Jews, their families, their Gentile neighbors, and even their animals stopped all activity and spent that day thinking about God delivering them from bondage. Tragically, by the time of the New Testament, it had become a day which involved the precise distance one could walk on that day, whether it was sinful to walk through a field of grain and eat the wheat in that field as they walked. It had become a day where one could water his donkey and help his ox get out of a ditch, but the Messiah was forbidden to heal on that day. It was so ritualistic that keeping the rites of that day became a symbol of righteousness!

The failure to keep that day holy by remembering their deliverance from Egypt was a primary reason for the Babylonian captivity that lasted seven decades. God described it this way: “Her priests have violated My law, and have profaned My holy things…and they have hidden their eyes from My Sabbaths, and I am profaned among them” (Ezek. 22:26). The sabbath was holy and so is the Lord’s supper.

So, what happens to us as we remember, not the sabbath, but the Lord in His feast? Peter described those who were failing to add the “Christian Graces” to their faith when he says, “For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten he was cleansed from his old sins” (2 Pet. 1:9). The Lord’s Supper is a weekly reminder of how He purged us from our sins and delivered us from the bondage of sin. It is a time we examine ourselves as we visit the cross. The Lord wanted Israel to remember deliverance from the bondage of Egypt every week and gave them a memorial day to ensure their spiritual growth. The Lord wants us to remember our deliverance from the bondage of sin every week and has given us a memorial feast to ensure our spiritual growth.

As you eat the bread and drink of the cup, never let it become a ritual. But let it be that time when you commune with Him around His table and visit the cross of our salvation.

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God is in Control Today and Always

God is in Control Today and Always

One of the great messages of the Old Testament is that God is in control, and He wants us to trust in Him. Control is an illusion that we tell ourselves that we have. Truthfully, I am in control of only one thing, myself. Even that is limited. Much of my body runs autonomically. I cannot turn off physical pain. My emotions are very hard to control. We are limited in the amount of control we have. Moreover, we often make the wrong decisions regarding the things that we can control, which results in less control. How much better is it to trust God! Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean to your own understanding. In all of your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.”God is in control

Trusting God with control of my life removes anxiety, and I can be at peace trusting that God will do what is right. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “In nothing be anxious; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus.” This verse is about understanding that God is in control. We pray to God because He will actively respond to our requests in the absolute best way. When we trust Him, we will have no worries. This brings great peace, and allows me to understand my identity in Christ Jesus. When I am at peace, and know who I am, my heart and thoughts are perfectly guarded in Christ Jesus. This keeps me in a state of salvation so that I will be ready for Christ’s return.

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Billy and Evolutionary Hoaxes

Billy and Evolutionary Hoaxes

Little Billy cannot remember sitting through his cradle roll class—but make no mistake, he was there. In fact, Billy has been in Bible class every Sunday morning and Wednesday night since before he could even walk.

He can recite many of the accounts in the Bible—especially his two favorites: Noah and the ark, and Daniel in the lion’s den. Having grown up in the church, Billy obeyed the Gospel and was baptized when he was twelve. Even now, at age fourteen he never misses a worship service.Faith, Billy, and Doubt

But Billy is having some nagging feelings about his faith.

It’s not that he doesn’t believe in God, because he does. The problem is that he has never seen God—or Jesus for that matter. And to compound problems, he’s taking physical science this year at school. His science teacher spent an entire month on the topic of evolution, and showed the students pictures of how scientists allegedly know evolution is true.

In fact, Billy’s science textbook contains many pictures that certainly look like they prove evolution. Billy desperately wants to have a faith as strong as his parents’, but those pictures are making it harder and harder to believe that this world was created as it is described in Genesis chapter 1.

Billy could show the pictures to his parents, but he’s not sure how they would react. Would they get mad at his lack of faith? Would they simply dismiss the images? Would he cause them to lose some of their own faith? For several weeks, Billy struggles internally as he “goes through the motions” at his local church. After giving it a great deal of thought, he just decides to do nothing.

To me, the scenario above is one of the scariest for parents. A child is struggling with questions pertaining to his or her faith, and instead of seeking answers from parents, the child simply remains silent—and all the while, his or her faith slowly begins to crumble.

Those pictures with which Billy is struggling are real. The bookshelves in my office are full of biology textbooks that contain many such pictures. The problem is that many of those pictures are dishonest. In some cases, they are of outright frauds. Without an honest explanation, young people are tricked into thinking that the case for evolution is much stronger than it really is.

Let me encourage parents to be proactive.

Talk to your children. Show them the evolutionary icons that we know are false. It is my hope that a proactive approach to some of these hoaxes will prevent your children’s faith from crumbling years from now.

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